Shallow Em

So today I was watching Shallow Hall and Jonathan called. 

(loooove when that man of mine calls!) 

Any way, I realized that the only reason I'm with him is because he is so hot. 

When I told him this he didn't seem to mind. 

Just call me Shallow Em

(PS. Thank you all for your responses to my last post.

You all made me feel so much better. 

I love knowing that I have this community on here that I can turn to. 

I'm feeling loads better after getting all that off my chest. 

You're all the best!! 

LOVE YOU ALL!!!!)

Well This Is New...

I'm at an entirely new point in the distance lull than I've ever been before. 

That is an annoyed, impatient, and slightly angry point. 

It may be because I've never gone over half a year without seeing Jonathan before, 

but no matter the reason it is not at all what I am used to. 

I am just so angry at the entire situation. 

I hate that I've never gotten a taste of a "normal relationship" 

Jonathan is the only guy I've ever dated. 

It has been hard this month because my room mates boyfriend has been living with us. 

I like him a lot, he is super sweet and really funny, so that's not the problem. 

But, it has kinda shown me what I've been missing for two years. 

That realization, has been rough. 

I'm no longer blissfully ignorant to what a "normal" relationship actually looks like.

I am angry that we've had to deal with it for this long. 

The first year was fine, it wasn't ideal, but it was fine. 

The second year was rough. 

The third year... it flat out sucks. 

I am starting to get annoyed with friends too, 

people who think they feel the same way I do. 

Some of them haven't done distance at all, 

some of them have done it less time total than I have, 

it doesn't matter, but some of the people I used to seek comfort from, 

I find myself getting frustrated with instead. 

That green monster is around as usual, 

but this time he is bigger and stronger than ever. 

I know you're not supposed to feed him and he'll go away, 

(feed him meaning, give into jealousy) 

but I find myself feeding him almost every day.  

After each of these things, 

I get frustrated with myself for acting that way. 

I get so mad and start beating myself up. 

I feel like a terrible, pathetic person.
I hate who I have turned into.
Every one always comments on how amazed they are at me,
how "well" I deal with the distance,
and I feel like I just wanna yell
"Don't you know how pathetic and weak I am???"

This just adds to the anger. 

Have any of you long distance-ers/military galls felt this way before? 

Or am I actually going insane? 

I'm starting to think I might be. 

(hopefully I don't go too insane, 

I want another chance to do this!!) 

23 Before 23

So I've been inspired by Hannah over at Miss Pinches to make a 23 before 23 list. 

This will have everything I want to do before I turn 23 on June 15, 2013 

Here I go! 

1.   Ride my bike from Rohnert Park to Bodega Bay

2.   Go on a roller coaster that flips upside down (preferably at Disneyland)

3.   See a sunrise and sunset on the same day

4.   Go to my grandma's cabin

5.   Spend an entire weekend with just my mom

6.   Go on a road trip to Kansas

7.   See something huge (like the giant yogurt cup in Boy Meets World!)

8.   Find and explore a new town

9.   Hike to the top of Armstrong National Forrest

10.  Get down to my goal weight (down 10 lbs)

11.   Sew something awesome

12.   Spend an entire day at the beach

13.   Make a cook book of tried and true meals found online

14.   Buy a pair of cowgirl boots

15.   Get a nice photo of myself

16.   Make something from scratch (craft, food, clothes, etc) 

17.   Adopt an animal of some kind

18.   Find the perfect little black dress

19.   Start Zumba again

20.  Have a cheese themed party

21.   Go on a night hike

22.   Make a snow angel 

23.   Sleep under the stars

What goals do you have for yourself this year? 

Just Call Me Picasso

I've had the painting bug lately.  

See, I'm not the best painter in the world, so I was quite proud of this baby. 

Do you notice that this one is multi demential? 

The tree has texture as does the sand. 

I was pretty impressed by that little fact. 

This one I just kinda threw together. 

I got stuck after drawing the sky, and had a completely white bottom half. 

What to do to take up lots of space?? 

Throw in some hills!! 

Jonathan decided that it's called 

"Jonathan's Anguish" 

because it is all dark and sad, but there is a ray of hope in the bright sun. 

The dark is the distance, the sun is it being over in a year. 

(gotta love that cheesy man of mine!) 

Obviously this one was birthed from the first one.

I can't decide which one is my favorite. 

I love the colors in this one, but the first one blends so much nicer.

The oranges and reds look awesome fading into one another.

(this one has a lot more pink and purple in it than shows up here, 

the hills for example, are made up completely of pinks and purples. 

I think it's much prettier in person than it shows up here)

I think I'd like to make a third one next with a night sky. 

One could be the sunrise, 

one could be the sunset, 

and then right in the middle could be the night. 

What do you guys think? 

Which one looks like a sunrise and which looks like a sunset to you?

I know which one I think looks like which time of day, 

but I wanna hear your thoughts!

Pinterest, More Like Addictingterest!

Yeah... that blog title was a lot funnier in my head than it is in writing. 

But seriously, I am addicted to pinterest. 

Despite the fact that I just got promoted, and should be going to bed early, 

I am on that website till about 2 in the morning every day! 

It's getting kinda bad.

I made this craft inspired by Pinterest:

I made some brown sugar chicken using a recipe I found on Pinterest
The other morning I made cookies with a Rollo right in the middle!
I have way too many ideas and things to make because of this website.

Do you guys use Pinterest?
What's your favorite thing you've found?
You can find me on Pinterest @ philliem

That Awkward Man I Love

Skip ahead to 5:06

And you will get to see Jonathan almost to a T when we first started dating. 

I asked him to tell me a little about himself;

 he literally started from the day he was born and worked his way forward.

Hahahahaha! 

Amacama Adventures: Art and Magic Camp

I did it!! 

I made it through my first camp officially in charge. 

Well technically I am not done yet. 

I have a few things to do tomorrow, 

but the camp itself is over, and I think that calls for a big

WOO HOO!!! 

It was easier, and yet harder than I thought. 

It was easier because most of what I did so far this week was part of my old job. 

It was harder because of the added stress of knowing

 it's on me if something goes wrong. 

I also had to get there a little earlier 

and stay a little later to take care of day to day things. 

But I was happy to do that, more hours means more money. 

And boy am I seeing the money! 

Got my paycheck this week and I'm pretty sure I looked exactly like this. 

This weeks camp was Art and Magic. 

It was so fun! 

I worked it last year too, but I liked it even more this year. 

It was fun to see how the kids have grown. 

It was so nice to see our magician and his mom again too. 

Did I mention that our Magician was just 17?

Yeah. Kinda insane. 

You can see some of his skills here: 

(am I the only one who totally read that in a Napolian Dynamite voice?)

Julian aka "Magic Dude"

He worked so well with the kids!
He clearly demanded their best, but was also kind to them.
He pushed them to practice practice practice
and even put himself out there,
admitting that he messes up some times too.

His mom was amazing!
Everything that an art teacher should be!
She was warm, and welcome and open to new ideas.
She really encouraged the kids to explore and create show their individuality.

As usual my co workers were wonderful! 

As you can see, we're really good at taking care of the kids.

(yes, that is a third child on the very bottom) 

(right before they started jumping on each other)

A magic hat I helped to design. 

"Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to Art and Magic camp!" 

-4 year old AJ

Calling All Coast Guard/Military Families!!

Hi, my name is Emily, and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. 

All together now! "HI EMILY!" 

Ok, so that's not entirely true. 

I know I want to be a teacher, and I am positive I want to spend my life with Jonathan, 

but I'm not sure about anything else with regards to my life.

When we first started dating, Jonathan talked as if he was going to make a career out of the Coast Guard. 

But lately he is saying he wants to "GTFO" as soon as he can. 

Now there are a few factors that I think are contributing to this, his current living situation, and the distance in our relationship. 

He agrees with both, so he is trying to work on the idea of just holding out till I move to Kansas, 

and deciding what he would like to do after about 5 months of me being there. 

I really do think it will make a huge difference.

The thing is, I don't know how to feel about this change in attitude. 

I spent the last 2 years talking myself into a military life. 

I've found so many positives, about 95% of them involving the green stuff. 

This sudden shift is actually much more scary than I thought it would be. 

See, I've gotten used to the idea that no matter what, we would have an income. 

We will make more money just because we are married. 

We will make more money just because we have kids. 

Our kids will have more help then just what we provide to go to college. 

I've gotten pretty used to expecting that, and now that it's possibly going away, I don't know what to think. 

See part of the problem is I have no idea what it is like, none of it. 

I don't know what the Coastie life is like, not really. 

I don't know what it is like to be that far away from my family. 

I don't know what teaching is really like. 

I don't know what having kids is like. 

I don't know what having kids and a full time job teaching is like. 

Heck, I don't even know what it's like to really be with Jonathan

90% of our over 2 year relationship has been spent 2,000 miles apart. 

Having all these questions unanswered is terrifying, especially for me. 

I hate the unknown. 

Do any of you have any opinions, or insight? 

Trying to Get Motivated

I've been trying to get motivated to get back into fitness. 

This year was a hard, stress filled year. 

That meant any and all of my health goals went by the wayside. 

Which means I gained back some of the weight that I worked so hard to loose. 

Even though most people say they can't tell, I am still not ok with this little fact. 

One of my "health" goals for myself is to care less about the number on the scale. 

Another health goal is to stop making myself do workouts I don't wanna do. 

No more running unless I'm really in the mood! 

What that means, is I am getting myself a road bike!

I just have to figure out which one is a "good reliable" bike. 

I also wanna start eating healthy again. 

I've started by giving up all soda (because honestly, I don't like it much any way) 

I've also started limiting myself to only having sugar on Sunday.

I'm thinking about trying to go meatless a few days a week.

These are my "before" photos.
I never took any when I first started loosing weight and I regret it.
Now that I am determined to get killer abs I figured
my before pictures should include my stomach.
Kiiinda nervous about posting them, but I figure this will help motivate me, right?

This is my "you better get healthy!" face

  
 Couldn't resist the Prego belly pic. I know. I'm hot.

You guys have any other ideas of things to do?
Care to join me in this?

Something Every Girl Should Do.

Tonight I did something that I've decided every girl should do once in a while. 

I gave myself a pedicure complete with Foot Scrub and massage. 

I hate feet, especially my feet. (I think it's a dancer thing, we have messed up feet for life) 

After treating myself to this my feet feel so nice and soft! 

I just wanna lay in bed and feel them. 

Creepy? Yes. 

The Tools: Foot Scrub, nail stick thing (to remove cuticles) clippers, nail file, polish

Here is your guide to The Emily Pedicure

Step 1. Soak feet in warm water

Step 2. While cuticles are still soft, remove them (This will make polish last longer) 

Step 3. Use any kind of foot scrub, massage feet, rinse well after

Step 4. Dry feet and massage with lotion

Step 5. Cut and shape nails (depending on your nails strength you may want to do this first, weaker nails should not be soaked before cutting, strong nails can go either way)

Step 6. Paint nails.

Step 7. Enjoy

Happy Hour, Duh.

I went out with my lovelies Tuesday. 

Partly because we wanted to get our drink on and partly because it was half off. 

Mostly because we wanted to get our drink on. 

My drink of choice is a Hard Pear Cider. 

Downed two of these babies in the hour and a half we were there 

(for me that may as well be ten)  

I had to try the fish and chips. 

I don't even like fish, but it seemed like a necessary choice.

Boy am I glad I made it!

 And of course I had to sneak a few shots of my room mate and her guy. 

Just about the cutest couple ever.

By the end of the night, we left looking this attractive. 

Hot. I know.

Jonathan And I Are Breaking Up...

I've got way too big of a girl crush on her not to pursue it. ;)

For those of you who don't know me well enough to know when I'm kidding, 
This is totally a joke, he can't get rid of me that easily! 

A Summer Of Love

The day after Jonathan and I met 

I was having a potluck 

and he and his room mate showed up! 

I was so nervous and excited knowing he would be there. 

That's the one and only time I've changed my outfit multiple times. 

I spent the entire night trying to show off

anything and everything was an opportunity to show off. 

My cooking 

(turned out I had too little food because people didn't bring food with them. Woops) 

How funny I was. 

(spent the entire night talking to a good friend and laughing loudly, 

ended up only making Jonathan think that my friend and I were dating. Woops)

My taste in movies. 

(we watched 13 Going on 30. Yeah, every guys dream. Woops)

As you can tell I made a good impression. 

He asked me out on a date that night. 

After a few weeks of dating, 

He asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. 

(This pic was taken the day I told him I'd be his, 

unfortunately I don't have a pic that isn't rainbowy)

It was when I moved to Rohnert Park at the start of July 

that he first told me he loved me. 

He said that I was all he could think about and 

that he found himself constantly checking his phone for messages. 

Awww!!! So cheesy!

We spent the summer hanging out almost every night

Trying to get to know each other as much as we could

knowing that he would be leaving sooner than we would like.

In September we even made a trip to Disneyland! 

I got to see one of my best friends, 

and he got to experience one of the best things in Cali. 

At the start of October his mom flew in for his graduation. 

Boy was I nervous to meet her! 

Turns out I didn't need to be. 

She was amazing, and incredible sweet to me. 

She even let us go on a date night just Jonathan and I

his last night in town. 

Um, bonus points for Lisa!

(I had never seen anyone so handsome as that man in his blues!)

The day he left, 

we spent the entire time trying to avoid it. 

We kept coming up with excuses for him to stay longer, 

and finally his mom said it was time for him to go. 

(Thank God or he would have never left! 

Not that I would have minded!) 

Watching his car leave, 

I was positive that was the last time I'd see him

I was so sure I wouldn't be able to do the distance

and that he would meet some one better than me in Kansas. 

I was so over the moon the day we bought the tickets for me to fly out there. 

That meant I was getting to see him without a doubt!

Let Me Tell You A Story...

This is where you can find the story of us. Us being that cutie in the pictures all over my blogs and of course me. Feel free to click around and read up, but I warn you, the cheese factor is through the roof. You may wanna bring some chips and make yourself some nachos. 

How We Met

This is the story of how a girl from California and a guy from Texas manage to meet.

Summer Of Love
Our Summer together, the months we fell in love before he had to leave

Just Call Me Heidi Klum
A few of the many adorable photographs we had taken while together last Spring.

That Awkward Man I Love
A clip from Boy Meets World that fits Jonathan spot on. LOVE IT!

More to come soon. . .

Amacama Adventures: How May I ASSIST You?

So at Mayacama we are responsible for assisting members when ever they may need help. 

When working at the pool it is part of my job to assist them in moving umbrellas. 

When working at the kids camp it is part of my job to assist the kids in our activities. 

We are always looking out for our fellow staff members 

and are ready to assist, if they need help. 

I have assisted kids to complete their homework on time. 

I've assisted the cart guys in parking golf carts.

Once, I even got to assist the pasty chef in making some chocolate goodies. 

Are you noticing a pattern here?
Thought so. 

I was promoted to assistant!!! 

Yes, that's right, yours truly was promoted. 

I am so excited for all the experience I am gaining because of this new job. 

The things I am learning, and skills I am gaining, will open up all new doors for me.

Not to mention the people I am meeting and getting to know. 

See, working in the kids section of Mayacma, you end up being kind of an outsidder. 

The kids camps are all at the pool, and the kids room is off to the side of the club, 

so not many people know me, and I don't know them. 

But all that is changing, I'm starting to really feel like a part of the Mayacama team. 

that'll be me in a few weeks, just wait!

My new responsibilities feel endless. 

I never fully realized how much work goes into the prep for each of these camps, 

and I'm not really even doing half of it. 

I am completely amazed by how easy my boss makes it all look. 

I mean none of it is hard persay, 

it's just a lot to remember and keep track of. 

My boss is going to be gone for over three weeks this summer, 

which means I will be responsible for making sure things run smoothly, 

and the correct people get payed, billed, and everything in between while she is gone.

I'm a little terrified, but mostly excited. 

This weekend I finally felt like I was getting the hang of things. 

If I stop posting,

its because I pushed the red button, 

and Mayacama blew up. 

Amacama Adventures

This is a list of all the blogs written about the place I work, Mayacama Golf Club, and all the hilarious, and wonderful things that go on there. For the most part I work with the kids of Mayacama. These kids are each amazing and I am already dreading the day a year from now when I will be leaving my little slice of heaven.  If you're in need of a laugh, just click away, you're sure to find one mixed in this bunch.

What Are Those??
What do you do, when a three year old asks you about tampons??

How May I ASSIST You?
I'm great at assisting people, did you know?

Art and Magic Camp
I survived my first camp as Assistant Camp Director!!

Promotion Success!!
Had a meeting with my boss to discuss my performance while she was gone. 

Just call me Heidi Klum

The last time I flew out to see Jonathan, 

It was to surprise him! 

While I was there

Miss Laura (the love of my life) Hagood

took photos of us. 

Laura was incredible! 

And I'm not just saying that because I love her. 

She was so willing and ready to listen to us and what we wanted. 

At one point I commented that a little fence was cute, 

and she excitedly said we could take pictures near it. 

She let me try my ideas, even if they were weird

and even if she could tell they wouldn't work.

She would let me do my thing, 

and then gently give an idea of how to make it a little nicer. 

She worked with us through our awkward moments, 

and encouraged us to be natural. 

She made me feel so beautiful through the entire thing

and was jumping on things, 

climbing things

and crawling through things, 

all to get the perfect pictures.
I am a girl who hates being photographed,
but with Laura, by the end of the shoot I was left wanting more!
Just call me Heidi Klum

I know that anyone would be happy with her as a photographer! 

I thought I would post a few! 

So you all could see for yourself.

 

 

Getting Crafty.

One of the ways I decided to pass the time this summer, 

is to go a little craft crazy. 

My most recent craft was one I found on Pinterest

Gotta love that site! 

The board says 

"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. 

It is for those who know a good thing when they see it, 

even if they don't see it enough." 

And the heart is right where Topeka is. 

Aww, oh so cheesy! 

I started out with an ordinary board I got form Home Depot

And drew the shape of Kansas on it 

Then nailed, nailed, nailed away. 

(am I the only dirty minded one who laughed at that sentence?) 

Then I decided that the outside needed a coat of white paint, 

and the heart needed red. 

Then I slowly realized that the thread I had chosen 

blended right in with the board. 

So I went and picked a new thread. 

And this is the end result. 

I have to say I felt like quite the boss. 

I made something creative and girly, 

But I hammered in about 40 nails.

I also framed all the plane tickets from the last 2 years that I have,

(which is just about every one. pathetic? Probably.) 

along with any other pictures or things I have of us

I also found a flier for the dance we met at! 

Didn't even know I had one till I moved!