Hi, my name is Emily, and I have no idea what I want to do with my life.
All together now! "HI EMILY!"
Ok, so that's not entirely true.
I know I want to be a teacher, and I am positive I want to spend my life with Jonathan,
but I'm not sure about anything else with regards to my life.
When we first started dating, Jonathan talked as if he was going to make a career out of the Coast Guard.
But lately he is saying he wants to "GTFO" as soon as he can.
Now there are a few factors that I think are contributing to this, his current living situation, and the distance in our relationship.
He agrees with both, so he is trying to work on the idea of just holding out till I move to Kansas,
and deciding what he would like to do after about 5 months of me being there.
I really do think it will make a huge difference.
The thing is, I don't know how to feel about this change in attitude.
I spent the last 2 years talking myself into a military life.
I've found so many positives, about 95% of them involving the green stuff.
This sudden shift is actually much more scary than I thought it would be.
See, I've gotten used to the idea that no matter what, we would have an income.
We will make more money just because we are married.
We will make more money just because we have kids.
Our kids will have more help then just what we provide to go to college.
I've gotten pretty used to expecting that, and now that it's possibly going away, I don't know what to think.
See part of the problem is I have no idea what it is like, none of it.
I don't know what the Coastie life is like, not really.
I don't know what it is like to be that far away from my family.
I don't know what teaching is really like.
I don't know what having kids is like.
I don't know what having kids and a full time job teaching is like.
Heck, I don't even know what it's like to really be with Jonathan
90% of our over 2 year relationship has been spent 2,000 miles apart.
Having all these questions unanswered is terrifying, especially for me.
I hate the unknown.
Do any of you have any opinions, or insight?
Wow, can I relate! My husband and I are geo-bachelor. He is in FL and I am in TX. It's been the most miserable experience and unit we've ever had to endure. Within the first year at this unit he was determined to leave the CG after it, despite having 15 yrs in at that point. I support the idea. Now that we are nearing the end of living apart, he is o.k. with staying in longer, likely to 20. It's very common for a bad unit to make someone want to leave the service. It's also common that the decision results in regret and attempts to get back in, which isn't easy in this economy. Yes, the CG can say "no" if you ask to come back, even under good terms. Make sure it's what he REALLY wants. Give yourselves a chance to experience it while living under one roof. It makes a huge difference a lot of the time. And maybe even give it another unit. How long has he been in? If this is his first unit, then he definitely shouldn't base his decision on it. Hope that helps :) Sorry it was so long!
ReplyDeleteDon't be sorry it was so long! This is exactly what I needed to hear. I'll let him know your feed back. Like both you and I said, it is hard to tell what we want till we are actually together and get to see what that is like. :)
DeleteI feel the same way. I am a planner and it is hard to plan anything when the military is involved, but at the end of the day all that matters is me and my hubby! I think once you are together everything will feel alot better and you will make better decisions so i would wait it out and go from there. Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteThanks lovely! I know you're right that we just need to wait a little longer till we are together. We are just starting to get impatient lol! <3
Deletei love your blog. my little brother just began at the navy academy, so i feel like i'm kind of connected. you are a lot better than i would be. i couldn't do it. gosh id die without my husband. i know you will make the right decision no matter what!
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You'd be surprised what you're capable of! The only way I can be with my guy is from a distance, then I'm happy to do it because the alternative is to not be with him at all. :) I do have my weak days though where I cry myself to sleep. lol! I'm not always strong! I'll be keeping you and your brother in my thoughts. <3 <3 <3
DeleteI feel ya on the impatient part!!! How long have you two been apart? No matter the time it sucks!!
ReplyDeleteWe've done two years so far and we've got another year or so to go depending on if I stay in Cali to work for the Summer.
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