Some One Kill Me Now...

Friends facebook post:

"Finally getting to spend time with my man 

It's been a long day without him!"

Need I say more?

How To Melt A Girls Heart In 5 Minutes Or Less

So I just remembered this conversation

That Curly and I had the night before he left CA

Names have been change to protect the privacy of people. 

Me: "I'm scared for you to live in a new State."

Him: "We talked about this, it'll be fine, 

we'll talk on the phone as often as we can"

Me: "No I mean, what if you meet some one new, some one better"

Him: "Emily you know that's not possible, you're it for me.

You're the one."

Me: "Well obviously George thought Rachel was it 

because they were engaged 

but then he met Lauren and realized

she was the love of his life, not Rachel. . . 

What if I'm your Rachel and you meet your Lauren."

Him: "Emily that's not going to happen."

Me: "How do you know? Because I'm your Lauren?"

Him: "No. Because Lauren is George's Emily."

Maybe it doesn't read as cute as it really sounded,

but needless to say I was a ball of tears all over again after he said it

(Curly is the name I've come up with for my man. 

If you've seen Oklahoma, 

and know how bad I wanted to marry Curly/a cow boy

You'll totally get that. 

Plus I figure my man is a Texan, 

a cow boy by default. So it fits, yeah?

I officially got my first creeper view, 

and want to protect my man a little more, you never know.

PS, is it bad that I'm kinda proud to get

my first creeper on my blog?)

 (For those of you who didn't see,
these are the flowers he got me
for our one year a few weeks ago. ^_^)

I Take Back All Those Mean Things I Said About You...

(My dad used to always say that ^ to me when I was little lol!)
I'm sorry but if you think you've got the best parents ever

You're sorely mistaken! 

 

(I realized while searching my computer for pictures, 

I have NO pics of me, my mom, and dad that are recent

I will change that this summer)

So it is decided that I have the best mom and dad ever.
After having a nice long catch up chat
with my dad on the phone,
I confessed that I'm a little stressed out about money
and how I'm going to afford everything I want to do with my man.

Super dad to the rescue said he would be willing
to top off my gas tank in Chico
for the drive to the cabin

SCORE 1 for dad

Then my dad tells me that depending on prices
he might rent a boat to watch the fire works from
I know that it might not happen
it all depends on price,
but he is looking into it which is awesome

SCORE 2 for dad!

He has been super understanding and helpful
with this whole summer school mess
and has been giving me the push I need
to figure it all out

SCORE 3 for dad!!

Now onto my mom.
I probably spend about two hours
total on the pone with my mom each week
She always makes me feel better when I'm stressed
and is real with me but some how still comforting

SCORE 1 for mom!!

On Monday and Tuesday of next week
My mom is driving up here to help me
clean the apartment, and move into my new room
I'd say that counts as a triple score

SCORE 2, 3, & 4 for mom!!

I'd say they are pretty amazing parents, wouldn't you??

The Pain of Incorrect Math

It's the second time I've done this. 

Counted how long we have left incorrectly 

 

That is the worst feeling ever 

Normally (when I'm not stressed about finals) 

I'm good at staying positive

I say "OMG Only __ Month/weeks/days left!" 

But the times that I realize I've been counting wrong...

Nothing can describe that moment of realization 

My brain goes blank for a few seconds

And I can't really think of a coherent sentence

Strangely enough I loose all feeling in my hands

My heart starts beating painfully soft and fast at the same time

I feel crushed for a few moments, and then, 

Just as fast as it started it stops

And the numb is back. 

How is This Possible???

When I left Jonathan we had only 9 weeks to wait to see eachother

That's shorter than we've ever had to go 

 

In the 8 months that Curly has been gone

We've had to wait an average of 3 1/2 months between seeing each other 

It was my thought that going just 2 months and 1 week would be easy

It's the shortest we've ever had to go

But some how it feels like it's been the longest 

It has been dragging on and on, each week feeling more like two weeks

I don't know if it's because I was expecting it to go by fast

Or if I didn't register the fact that 9 weeks 

translates to more than 2 months, which isn't long, but isn't short either

I just feel like such a baby having this much trouble waiting this long

It scares me because after this July we'll have a little over 6 months

Maybe 7 depending on ticket prices and how things work out

I can't help but wonder, if I am having trouble dealing with this amount of time

What will the 6-7 months be like, and will I even be able last through it?

I get scared that I won't be strong enough to do so. 

But that's not what this blog is about. 

This blog is asking how the eff this length of time is lasting so long?!?!?!

I want him here

I want him right here
Hang outs and laughter and hugs and kisses

With all kinds of fun

And now

Don't care how

Want him here now

Don't care how 

Gimme him now!

STRESS

So I don't know about you,

but lately my life has been all about stress

Between work, helping people move, 

signing a new lease, figuring out finance, 

45 pages worth of writing for finals, 

And trying to figure out summer school/graduation

I've been feeling like I'm going to explode. 

I'm guessing a lot of you are feeling the same way

with Finals and such

So I'm going to give you a few tips

I do to help stress, maybe they'll help you too

Tip 1: Play classical or other relaxing music. 

I recommend Jean-Yves Thibaudet, namely 

The Pride and Prejudice soundtrack 

That CD relaxes me in about 20 seconds

Tip 2: Drink something warm, and comforting

I recommend warm tea or hot chocolate. 

I know it might not feel like you have the time, 

But just pour your self a glass, 

and take five minutes to just sit and drink

Tip 3: Get to bed early, and get up early

You will be amazed with how much you can get done

When you get up just an hour early. 

I am a night person so trust me, I get the temptation to stay up

But more things are open that can help you

with any tasks you need to do that require help

Tip 4: Make a list

Make out a list of all the things you need to do

Then make a second list numbering them in priority

If the list is super long it could bring more stress

But what will help is checking off or crossing out

each thing on your list as it gets done

You'll be amazed at how fast it gets smaller

Tip 5: Take a deep, calming breath

I know that sounds like common sense, 

But when you are stressed some times you forget just to breathe

Taking a moment to remind yourself

could be just what your body needs, 

not to mention it will relax tense muscles a little

Tip 6: Yell

When I am in the car and stressed out

I take in a deep breath, as big as I can get

and while I exhale I yell not super loud

Just powerful, with all your lung support 

Just say aaaaaaa nice and deep, 

picture the stress leaving your body. 

On really bad days I'll do it a few times

You'll be amazed at how well it works

Plus hopefully it will bring a giggle out of you

Which is an awesome stress reliever 

Tip 7: Take a warm bath or shower

I am a HUGE fan of baths

I love to just fill the tub with bubbles or salts

And lay in it for an hour or more. 

I come out feeling relaxed and ready for a restful sleep

And in the morning when I wake up I'm already clean and ready to go

Tip 8: Go to the gym

The gym is such a great break

You are still being active and productive

So you won't feel any guilt for doing it

Plus going to the gym releases endorphins 

endorphins give you the energy you need to take on the day

Tip 9: Take a dance break!

Dance away your stress

Put on your favorite song, 

the one that just makes you want to grove

blast it on your speakers or ipod 

and dance away for three minutes

Tip 10: Stop for a snack

Stop your work for an afternoon snack

Eating something healthy and filling 

will help you focus on your task

you won't be hungry or wondering what to eat

I recommend granola, banana, apples and peanut butter, 

mixed nuts, trail mix, or yogurt.

Tip 11: DON'T PROCRASTINATE 

You will feel so much better 

if you get things done ahead of time

Rather than just in time

Most stress can be avoided 

if you avoid procrastination

"Give your stress wings and let it fly away." ~ Terri Guillements

NOTHING GOES RIGHT IN MY LIFE!!

Complaints:

A sure fire way to get every one's attention on you.
Now stop being five and grow up.

Now I am not going to sit here and say I never complain. 

Because I do, we all do. Little complaints aren't what this blog is about.

This blog is about the constant negativity I see on Facebook. 

People constantly putting up statuses that do nothing but complain. 

 I can think of 3 friends off the top of my head who do it all the time.

If you go to their pages, every status you can see is a complaint. 

Even if it is something you'd think they would be excited about, 

like a promotion, the weekend, or ice cream

they find a way to complain about it. 

The negativity amazes me. 

Now I'm not saying "don't ever be negative!" 

That is not possible. 

As human beings we need to let out frustration

Facebook is a great way to do that, 

It ends up with you getting the support, pity, love, 

or what ever else you're looking for from your friends

But when it's all you do and write about

We've got a problem. 

The problem is that people in our society seem to have forgotten how to be happy. 

Being happy is NOT about getting everything you want.

In my case, all I want is to be with Jonathan. 

While I do get bitter when I hear people complain 

People get to see their significant other every week, 

or even a few times a month, 

it only makes me more miserable 

if I focus on the fact that I don't get that. 

If I pay attention to every facebook post about 

"Why did _____ have to go to work?"

or "I haven't seen ____ all day :(" 

I will just go crazy. 

It will not change the fact that I don't get to see him.

Instead of focussing on the negative, find the positive. 

Me for example: 

I've finally figured out that Jonathan and I aren't 

going to see each other for over 6 months after this July. 

Now I could do plenty of bitching about that on facebook

but instead I have told myself this: 

"Think about how much more excited I'll be to see him after 6 months"

It will be the best day of my year by far when I see him

While that wasn't my initial reaction, 

I CHOSE to react that way in the long run. 

That's what it comes down to. 

Happiness is a choice. 

So for those of you CONSTANTLY

complaining about work, the military, or school. 

you are miserable because of you,

not because of life.

(again this is not about little complaints, or statuses that complain once in a while. 

I think that is a GOOD thing, every one needs to let out frustrations

so long as you don't let those frustrations take over your life) 

"It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years -- we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for love and happiness, the light has been turned on"

- Sharon Salzberg

You're So Much Stronger!!

Cycling

It is the hardest

Most painful

sweaty 

work out.

and I am in love

So I'm sure that you all know

that I have lost a ton of weight

blah blah blah

you heard the story. 

What you don't know 

is that once I reached the goal that I had set, 

that I didn't think it was possible for me to reach.

I hit a slump

I stayed at that weight for almost 6 months

Which isn't a bad thing

I just wasn't trying to get healthy any more

I was so happy I had hit this 

"unimaginable" weight

I stopped working out in a really good way

stopped pushing myself that hard

didn't eat very healthy

deffinately not unhealthy

but not as healthy as I could

I got out of this slump a little once Jonathan left

but not really. 

Then, along came Erin

posting nonsense about "play lists" 

and "teaching a class" 

and "excitement." 

all kinds of crazy stuff.

So I figured I'd go see what all 

this madness was about

Boy was I in for a shock. 

I went to that first class and almost died

I thought I was going to pass out when walking down the stairs

and downed a 18 fl oz bottle of water

in about 5 minutes. 

I was hooked. 

The thing that has amazed me about cycling

is it never gets any easier. 

Sure you get down the form, 

get used to the bike

stuff like that,

but there is never a class

that I walk out with out shaky legs

there is never a time that I am not covered in sweat

Then there's Erin. Where to start?

She is an AMAZING instructer

She pushes you and helps you push yourself. 

From the way I'm talking about cycling you'd think 

I love every minute right?

soooo wrong!

I am dying to get off after about 15 minutes

but Erin sits there at the front of the class, 

playing the best music, 

with a big smile on her face, 

pushing herself just as hard as you are pushing yourself, 

and some how she makes you say to  yourself. 

"Yeah! Come on! You got this!

Just push it!"

She also never lets you forget, 

that cycling is all self motivation. 

it's not like other classes, 

where every one can see if you're not doing it

or if you're not putting your all in

you're the only one who sees the resistance

the only one who sees your RPMs

that means that she both lets, 

and encourages you

to take the credit for your new found strength

To me that is amazing!

if I were her I would be braggin like

"Yeah, I'm the one who wooped your butt into shape! 

bow down be-otch!!"

She will take any thanks I give her, 

but in the most modest way. 

Today in class, one of our last ones

she walked up and said

"OMG Emily! It is crazy! You're so much stronger!

Like to think back three moths ago!

You're so much stronger now!"

I felt like I was gonna explode, 

to hear that kind of complement from her,

The girl who rides 80 miles to Davis,

Was the highlight of my week

(would be my month, but the semester is ending, 

that wins. Sorry Erin! LOL)

 

She and I have even been talking

about meeting up every once in a while

to do cycling together during the summer.

I can't wait to continue the classes next semester

Who knows, maybe with Erin's help

I'll be just like Lance Armstrong

God knows I've got that look mastered!

I do it after every class!

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait.

OMG I am so excited!!

my best friends fiance is coming home

 

Now first I need to tell you a few things about this girl

I met miss Megan Reah 1 year and 4 months 

ago we hit it off pretty much right away

and became inseperable after about 2 months of class together

it is impossible to describe what hanging out with her is like

She is one of the most kind hearted people I have ever met

She makes me laugh just by being herslef 

every time I hang out with her the time flies by

even if we are just siting in my car talking

before we know it 3 hours has gone by and it felt like 15 minutes 

when I go even 2 weeks with out seeing her I get moody 

and I feel like it's been at least 2 months.

It is her support and love that gives me strength

when I am missing my man.

Now Megan and Emilio are the definition of true love

He is her prince

She is his princess 

I'm not gonna lie,

I had my doubts before I met him

because I am extremely protective of her

but after 20 minutes of being with him

I fell in love

They just fit together perfectly

it is obvious seeing them that they were meant to be

 Words can not express how excited I am for these two

They have had to go the last 2 years

living 8,857 miles away from each other
(an estimate as I don't know his exact address)

He is going to be stationed in San Diego 

that is almost 8,300 miles closer

not to mention the same time zone

 every time I think about the fact that he is coming home I get giddy

I feel just as excited for her as I do for myself when I get to see Jonathan

What I am trying to say is congratulations

I love you both so much, 

and can't wait to see what the future holds for you Mr. and Mrs. Ramos

Silly Rabbit! Love Never Lasts!

I have had 7 people tell me my relationship will not last.

5 people tell me that the happy phase will end

6 people tell me not to get used to things the way they are

because they will end in time. 

I have to say, few things piss me off more than hearing this.

The number one thing I hear about my relationship is 

"You're too young to really be in love"

I have just a few things to say to that. 

One: I am old enough to have just one year left of college

Two: I am old enough to drive

Three: I am old enough to vote

Four: I am almost old enough to drink

Five: I am old enough to have been living with out my parents for three years

If I am old enough, an mature enough to do all those things

than in what way am I not old enough to be in love?

Better question, exactly what age is "old enough" 

if I'm not old enough to be in love, 

that means I'm not old enough to love, 

so, sorry mom and dad, 21 years of me telling you I love you,

All lies, all bull

because I'm too young to know what love is.

To all the comments about how 

The honeymoon phase will not last

that this love will not last.

We are so past the honeymoon phase

We are no longer blinded by love

into thinking that we are both perfect

in his eyes I am not on a pedestal

In my eyes he is not up on a pedestal

Our relationship is hard

Our relationship is work

Our relationship is challenged all the time by the distance

And some days, the distance wins.

I am in no way "blinded by love" 

Our relationship is real, 

and it just so happens that it's also full of love 

I am sorry if you never got to experience

a real relationship, that is hard at times

but still full of so much love that any hurtles are more than worth the work

But you don't have to take your anger about that fact

out on people who have been lucky enough to find such a relationship

In ending, all I have to say is

The Happy Turtle sends all haters a chin wave

(LOL! I love you Curly!)

57 And Counting

I've become addicted to working out.

 

I started going to the gym for the first time three years ago.

It wasn't until two years that I got really serious about it.

In the last year and a half I have lost 57 pounds.
I have gone down 8 or 10 pant sizes
(depending on the jean style I'm wearing)
I always feel the most confident after going to the gym.
I always feel the sexiest in my gym cloths,
because I associate them with going to the gym.
It has become so much fun to watch
how much stronger I am getting.

One thing I am so proud of
is the fact that through this I have inspired others
I've gotten 5 emails asking for health tips
and 4 people ask me in person

I never know what to say

I am NO expert on health!
best of all my dad says I have helped inspire him
Knowing this almost made me cry
I am so proud of the progress he has made!
Every time I see him he looks a little smaller

The biggest thing I've learned is
anyone can get healthy
I don't care who you are,
or how long you've been over weight
anyone can do it.
I thought that I would never be the size I am
my original "dream weight" was 20 pounds heavier than I am now
I am in pants smaller than I ever thought I'd be

If I could do it than any one can do it

you just have to get the proper motivation.

Thankful For The Damn Distance

I was talking to miss Megan Reah the other night and I realized something. 

I am so thankful for the 2,000 miles that keep Curly and I apart. 

When you are in a long distance relationship 

you don't miss the person just with your heart. 

You miss them with your entire being. 

The first few weeks everything aches 

as if you've just ran a marathon after not sleeping for 3 days.

Then you go into the uncomfortable phase for a few weeks, where nothing feels right. 

At all times you can feel something missing, 

you know exactly what it is but there is nothing you can do about it. 

Then after abut 4-6 weeks comes the numb that all long distance-ers know and love

When your body is unpleasently numb. 

It is the weirdest most empty feeling I have ever felt.

Megan and I finally decided that we should, in a way, be thankful for all this. 

It is because of all this that each time we get to see our men it feels like our birthdays.

Every time that we go to sleep knowing we will see them the next day, 

it is like going to sleep Christmas eve, only better.

Every hour, minute, and second with them is filled with more love

warmth, and joy than words can even begin to describe.

Basically what I am trying to say is, 

no matter your situation, 

be thankful.

Be thankful for the ones you love, 

be them family, friends, or a significant other.

Try to treat each moment with them

like the precious gift that it is. 

"The most important thing in life

is to learn how to give out love, 

and to let it come in"

-Morrie Schwartz 

Bah-bah

It seems like all my friends are starting up a blog. 

I decided I'd start one too.

I'm a sheep and I'm proud of it!

I'm not sure what I want to include in this blog. It will probably end up being my rants and raids of day to day life. We'll just have to see. For now, let me tell you about myself. 

(because obviously if you are reading this that means you are a complete stranger)

I am a Junior majoring in English Literature at Sonoma State University

I have to say, though SSU has a place in my heart and always will, 

I can't wait to graduate.

I feel like high school was just prep for college

I feel like college is just prep for life

I am ready to start the life part of my life

Once I graduate I want to teach. 

I don't have any cute stories about how I wanted to be
an astronaut or a fire fighter or a ballerina

For my entire life I knew I was meant to teach.

I have the most amazing friends in the world. 

They make me laugh so much that it hurts. 

They are always there for me in the middle of the night when I am upset. 

Or when I am having another one of my irrational panic attacks.
They are the ones I lean on when ever I am sad or lonely
They knew exactly what to say so that I feel better

 

I have the most incredible family in the world. 

My mom is my best friend, and the person I am closest to in the world.

My dad is the smartest person I know, and the person I strive to make proud.

My sister is the second smartest person I know
She is filled with so much joy it is infectious. 

My grandma isn't scared to speak her mind, and boy does she speak it!
I hope one day I will be as brave as she is with my own thoughts and opinions. 

I met my love a year ago. 

He is the most amazing person I know. 

He makes me laugh when no one else can. 

He makes me smile when it seems impossible to do so.

He is my best friend, and my world. 

The best way I can think to describe being with out him, 

is like walking around with a really bad hair cut. 

It isn't unbearably painful, 

But it is constantly there. 

the feeling that something wrong, 

the feeling that something is out of place,

the feeling that something is missing. 

The feeling doesn't go away until the moment I see him in the airport. 

I can't wait for the day that our 

skype relationship will be over.

This July he is coming out to see me for 17 days!

Words can not express how excited I am

It will be the first time in our what will then be one year and two month relationship

that we will be able to hang out more than two days in a row, 

with out the military getting in the way.