I've been feeling more and more guilty lately.
It drives me insane that I am keeping Curly from seeing his family.
You can be sweet all you want and try to say "That's not true"
But it is true, plain and simple.
He is not going to see home or his family for at least 9 months total
And it is all because of me.
That is the rough thing about not being from the same place as him.
I met him it was because he was stationed here, not because we're both from here.
That means he has to choose between me and his family.
I'm not complaining, I am stoked that he chose me,
Because it means I get to spend time with him,
without the military taking him away every weekday like it has for the last year
But I feel guilty too because it means he doesn't get to see
his mom, dad, or sister most likely till Christmas,
Which means by the time he sees his home, it will have been a year sense he'd been there last.
I don't know why but the last few weeks it's just been getting to me.
Today it really got to me because my friend,
who was trying to make me feel better about something else
said to me through text "Well at least he gets to go home soon."
I know she didn't mean anything by it,
but it was like a slap in the face.
Because he could be going home soon if it weren't for me.
Curly was really sweet when I expressed my guilt to him
He said that he signed up for this,
and that I am his family now too.
I just can't help but think how I would feel.
I was going crazy dying to see my mom when she came up
and it had only been 4 months.
I have to wonder, do I really deserve this?
Do I really deserve to have precious leave time
spent on me rather than family, who have been by his side all his life.
The answer is clear to me, no. I don't. I couldn't possibly.
He seems to think so though.
I'll just say this to his mom, dad, and sister
if you guys happen to read this,
Thank you all so much.
Thank you for sharing your son and brother with me,
and for not hating me for taking him away from you.
On a lighter side just 4 weeks and 2 hours
from the moment I'm typing this
I will be in the airport waiting for Curly to land ^_^
(pretty sure I just had a heart attack)
(we got to skype while I was writing this! Yayyy!!!!)