It's weird to think it's just been three weeks and one day
sense the last time I saw Jonathan.
After just two weeks I was sure,
not even just it felt like it had been,
I was sure it had been a month.
I don't even know how long to say it feels like it's been as of now.
BUT the good news is,
That familiar numb has set in
For the first time in four months
he isn't all I think about
yes I think of him often
but not non stop like I did the last time we were apart
It was so hard then because in my head it was gonna fly by
I didn't let myself get numb
I used to hate the numb
but now I welcome it with all my heart
Because though it feels awkward, and terrible
it is a million times better
than feeling what I'd be feeling without it.
With the numb you just feel like some thing is missing
like you're walking around with no pants on
it sucks, it's awkward, its uncomfortable
and it feels like every one can tell just by looking at you
but it's better than constantly aching
constantly hurting and not being able to focus on any task
So though it's back to walking around in the nude
I welcome it.
Welcome back numbness.