Wednesday, December 26, 2012

It's The Final Count Down

I will be with Jonathan in just over 2 days. 
This feeling is terrible, 
the last five days or so have been worse than the last 7 months
That's a total lie
 But they have been terrible.

For those of you who have never done this, 
the excitement hits in bults 
These terrible, sudden, huge shock waves of realization. 
They come so suddenly, 
because if you let yourself feel them all the time, 
you would drive yourself and every one around you insane. 
So you shove those thoughts back down 
as soon as you're strong enough to over power them again.

Last Wednesday, when I realized how close the day was getting, 
I had one of those shock waves. 
I got so excited it hurt. 
Not even kidding. 
You know that feeling you get when you've eaten too much sugar, 
where your heart feels like a humming bird trying to get out of your chest, 
and you're trying to decide if you should call 911 or not, 
yeah, that happened for an hour. 
I literally was almost in tears because I wanted it to stop so bad. 
Who knew it was possible to get that excited?! 

The last few days I've been angry for some reason. 
I just feel really irritated. 
I'm sic of waiting. 
I'm sic of being away from him.
I'm dying to be done with this crap.
I'm crazy jealous of basically every person in the world, 
(all the people who actually are with their significant other) 
I'm annoyed when any one who is with their love tries to complain about anything, 
even if it is a legitimate complaint. 

The good news is that I have had plenty of distraction through my family and friends, 
and it didn't end with Christmas! 
My family and I will be traveling tomorrow, 
and then Friday we will be at the beach, 
where I plan to sleep in as late as I can 
(Gotta use up as much day as possible, right?) 
then run around on the beach, 
then start the trip to Rohnert Park before I go pick up Jonathan from SFO. 
OMG.... I'm going to be picking up Jonathan!
(There goes another shock wave) 

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